10) You’re completely illiterate. You’ve never written or read a single word in the three years you’ve lived with me. Not one. Sissy and I are straight lying when we look at your notes and tell you what they say. An open squiggly circle doesn’t say crap. You can’t read or write, Dude.
2) Those two-bite cinnamon rolls from Whole Foods? They don’t taste like eggs. They taste like heaven fluff. I said that so I wouldn’t have to share. You should like eggs, anyway.