Thank BOB my toddler naps. I need this time. I don’t know what I would do if she didn’t nap. With my eldest it never mattered – although she was always a big napper, if she missed hers it didn’t change her behavior too much. And I was fine. Not Logan, however. Logan expends so much epm (energy per millisecond) that she comes up to me, just about every day, and says, “Mom I so tiyuhd, you nuwse me fuwst?” “Fuwst” meaning, before she goes to sleep. I gladly say yes. I’d do anything to help that kid get to her nap. You want to nurse for an hour even though the milk stops after three minutes? You want more water? You want me to rock you? You want my pillow? My earrings my money my boyfriend my soul? Anything. Just go take a nap.
Logan’s naps recharge me almost as much as they recharge her. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have friends where I live. There is no one to watch my children while I make a quick run to the store, or to my bedroom, or to the closet to hide. One of my younger sisters lives with me but she’s pretty much in her own world, and not very experienced with children. If Logan didn’t nap, I would never get a break from her constant, erm, spiritedness. She takes things. She throws things. Changing her outfit makes her want to change her outfit, and I have to help with the buddons on the shuwts. She is always, always hungry. But not for anything I offer her. She always wants water, but not in the cup I’ve put it in. She wants to play outside. But then she screams at being messy. And then there are her favorite phrases: “I MAD!” “I ask you sumpin?” “WAD GOIN ONNN HERE?!” “DON’T marry me!” What the hell does “Don’t marry me!” even mean? I don’t know. I just know I’d better obey and not propose to that kid. And try to make it until she takes her nap.
Because while she’s napping, I look at that sweet caramel-colored face, her pudgy round cheek falling over her pouted lips, her little ears, her chunky thighs…and I ask myself, “What was I talking about?!” She wasn’t snatching, she just took that toy from me with a lot of force. She didn’t throw that shoe at me, I should have moved my head more quickly. And I can understand why she changes so frequently, I would too if I had all those clothes and no hair anywhere on my body. Of course she’s always hungry, look at those sweet cheeks. And I knew she wasn’t going to like that pink cup, I should have brought her water in the blue one. The screaming – well, she doesn’t like being messy, I can appreciate that. And all those crazy things she says, I know that in toddler speak, “I don’t yike you anymow” means, “You’re my best friend.” She’s my best friend, too.
Thank goodness she took that nap. I needed to remember why this is fun. I needed to remind myself why I can laugh at her every day. She’s just a toddler. I love her personality. I don’t need to overreact. But I damn sure need her to nap.
This is me and my 3year old! I even asked him if he wanted to nurse the other day even though he weened himself just before his third birthday. He looked at me like I was crazy and declined my offer…..but I was desperate. I too am at this alone and weekend nap time cant come fast enough. Thanks for this post and letting me know I am not alone.
No you are not, Kathleen. It’s very draining, I know. Those naps really mean a lot to me.
– Kimberley
I can totally relate to this. My 2 year old was born sleeping, literally. She did not cry through her newborn tests and shots. Slept 14 hours from her first night and every night after that. She would randomly fall asleep when she was content in her bassinet, never cried, just a total self soother. She sucked her thumb from in-utero, we have the ultrasound photos to prove it. Then a few days before her 2nd birthday she learned to climb out of her pack n play and crib and NEVER went back in there. She now is a horrible sleeper and napper, she is into every.thing. We all go to bed before her. She has never wanted to sleep in our bed at all not even wanting to be held when tired or falling asleep. Now she always wants to be in our bed or on us and held. It’s the strangest thing. I just don’t understand her. I can’t wait for the day that she will go to sleep in her own bed and sleep well without a fight. I need a nap right now but then all hell will break loose with her and her sisters. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah, Salena, we just have to remember they’re only so young for a very short time. And pray lol.
I wish I could depend on Chloe to nap and then sleep normally later. I rise early and I’m steadily losing consciousness and all ability to reason by 9pm. An hour long nap for her means a 3-hour delay in her regular bed time and I just cant do it. I’ve woken up at 2 am to find myself neatly tucked in by my 3 y/o and her in the living room with a tutu and patent leather dress shoes with tambourines, maracas, and a microphone (darned her Dad, sending that crap to MY house) singing and dancing to re-runs on the Disney Channel asking me, “Why you woke, Mom?” My Gran and I discussed this for quite a while during her visit and she says its my fault because I don’t “take charge!” Whatevs!!I used to take advantage of mornings as my quiet time because she was sleeping 60-90 minutes longer than I was, but now her Mom radar is so sensitive that she’s generally up searching for me within minutes of my waking. Well, at least thats enough time for me to get my morning visit to the bathroom to myself. LOL While I truly enjoy the quiet time – and simply not being needed for anything. I’m so anxious about our ruined bed time that I find myself doing everything I can to make enough noise to wake her out of it should she happen to fall asleep. It never works. LOL.
Deidra, I’ve given up trying to sleep-outsmart Logan LOL. Now I try to get as much as I can at night, which is not all that much with her nursing all night. Such is motherhood, eh? I think I’d just let Chloe be lol. I can’t imagine waking up to find her all fancified haha. Glad I have Ry, I don’t have to worry about them being up.
Attachment parenting is wonderful, but it is also exhausting! I couldn’t imagine being able to pull it off as a single parent. I guess we try to do what we believe is best for our kids to the best of our abilities regardless of circumstances, but still I really admire you. Naptime is worth more than gold sometimes, especially with an especially wired and spirited child!
=) Thank you very much Karen, it is exhausting, but the good kind lol. Naptime is worth more than most things around here, haha. Thank you for reading.
First, my toddler did not nap today despite going to sleep just before 10 last night and waking up early for her at 8 today. I didn’t read this till today. Perhaps because the universe was waiting for her to drop her nap.
Second, I second Karen. I think about you and all the other single mamas doing this alone. I am petrified just wondering how I’m going to be alone with my 2.5 yo and 6 mo in June for two weeks. It keeps going around and around in my head: HOW WILL WE NAP?
See how timely me reading this late is?
Hope you nap, today and every single day of your life. Because naps are good like that, children or no children.
sheila
alivingfamily.com
Oh my BOB, I felt like you were talking a out
My daughter, Nova! Thanks for sharing this. It can be hard to accept and be peaceful with and toward a um spirited child. She’s so unlike her older sibling! How old is your daughter?
Logan will be three in June, but she’s got an old soul lol. I love the name Nova! Thank you for reading. =) Kimberley
You’re such a great writer and an inspiration. I don’t understand why you don’t have friends in your area- you seem to be a nice person
Have you thought about joining and attachment parenting Meetup in your area? I’m sure with your blog and daughters and being a single parent, you’re thinking ‘ I don’t have time to meet more people!’. The parenting village is such a blessing though!
Wow, Danielle thank you so much for saying so! I consider myself a nice person lol.
I have not yet done so but only because I just moved, and soon after I moved my life got nuts. But I plan to when I settle, thank you for the suggestion! Much love. – Kimber
hahaha This is hilarious and just too true. Keep writing!
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Me too! No familiy or friends who ever take my ‘spirited’ boy from my hands, and now he won’t nap anymore and daycare will end because I have lost my job. Seven days @ 14 hrs (which varies, he won’t sleep at 7 pm anymore either
) so fulltime being drained by him. I don’t know how I’ll cope so I have ordered the AHA parenting book and ‘raising your spirited child’ hoping to find help (= comfort, recognition) there!
“”" “Fuwst” meaning, before she goes to sleep. I gladly say yes. I’d do anything to help that kid get to her nap. You want to nurse for an hour even though the milk stops after three minutes? You want more water? You want me to rock you? You want my pillow? My earrings my money my boyfriend my soul? Anything. Just go take a nap.”"”
WHY IS THIS ME!! HAHAHA