Thank BOB my toddler naps. I need this time. I don’t know what I would do if she didn’t nap. With my eldest it never mattered – although she was always a big napper, if she missed hers it didn’t change her behavior too much. And I was fine. Not Logan, however. Logan expends so much epm (energy per millisecond) that she comes up to me, just about every day, and says, “Mom I so tiyuhd, you nuwse me fuwst?” “Fuwst” meaning, before she goes to sleep. I gladly say yes. I’d do anything to help that kid get to her nap. You want to nurse for an hour even though the milk stops after three minutes? You want more water? You want me to rock you? You want my pillow? My earrings my money my boyfriend my soul? Anything. Just go take a nap.
Logan’s naps recharge me almost as much as they recharge her. I don’t have a partner. I don’t have friends where I live. There is no one to watch my children while I make a quick run to the store, or to my bedroom, or to the closet to hide. One of my younger sisters lives with me but she’s pretty much in her own world, and not very experienced with children. If Logan didn’t nap, I would never get a break from her constant, erm, spiritedness. She takes things. She throws things. Changing her outfit makes her want to change her outfit, and I have to help with the buddons on the shuwts. She is always, always hungry. But not for anything I offer her. She always wants water, but not in the cup I’ve put it in. She wants to play outside. But then she screams at being messy. And then there are her favorite phrases: “I MAD!” “I ask you sumpin?” “WAD GOIN ONNN HERE?!” “DON’T marry me!” What the hell does “Don’t marry me!” even mean? I don’t know. I just know I’d better obey and not propose to that kid. And try to make it until she takes her nap.
Because while she’s napping, I look at that sweet caramel-colored face, her pudgy round cheek falling over her pouted lips, her little ears, her chunky thighs…and I ask myself, “What was I talking about?!” She wasn’t snatching, she just took that toy from me with a lot of force. She didn’t throw that shoe at me, I should have moved my head more quickly. And I can understand why she changes so frequently, I would too if I had all those clothes and no hair anywhere on my body. Of course she’s always hungry, look at those sweet cheeks. And I knew she wasn’t going to like that pink cup, I should have brought her water in the blue one. The screaming – well, she doesn’t like being messy, I can appreciate that. And all those crazy things she says, I know that in toddler speak, “I don’t yike you anymow” means, “You’re my best friend.” She’s my best friend, too.
Thank goodness she took that nap. I needed to remember why this is fun. I needed to remind myself why I can laugh at her every day. She’s just a toddler. I love her personality. I don’t need to overreact. But I damn sure need her to nap.