The Dang Park Daddies

You know the scene.  80 degrees outside.  Park is packed.  Bikes, dogs, babies, ice cream, screaming, dirty children, pollen, moms, and…DADS.  Everywhere all over the place.  Don’t get scared – this is NOT a blog about trying to get a husband, or always needing a husband, or even wanting a husband.  I am happy where I’m at in my life, but there are times when it  would be, I dunno, kinda groovy and useful to have a mister tag along.  Mostly, when I’m at the park.  Where I’m from, I never felt out of place being a single mom.  It was like a nose piercing – people notice it but it doesn’t inspire a reaction anymore.  Where I am now…well, let’s just say that not less than two weeks ago a Southern, erm, “gentleman” remarked, “Girl it must be hard on you wid’ dim’ kids all to yaself, you need a husband, don’t you?”  To which I graciously replied, “Well becau-, I did’n-, I had one but they- the people- too many folla- muhdda…bala… mobin.”  Yes, I know that’s not English.  It’s Surprisedanese.  I frankly didn’t know what to say so I started mumbling like the incapable, husbandless nut I am.  -_-  But I digress.  And I will do that often.  See I’m digressing from the digression.   Okay I’m going to stop now please save yourself and just go to the next paragraph.

Where I live now, not having a husband is like…like…not having eyebrows.  It’s not a legal requirement, it’s not completely necessary for life, but people WILL wonder about you, and they maaay not be able to wait until you look away, before they make their “wondering” face.  Especially if you have not just a child, but childREN.  As in mo’ than one.  I have two.  And not a man in sight.  I do date, but never with my children, and that’s a later post.  So when we go out, it’s the three of us.  And all the Dang Park Daddies (or the DPD as I call them when I talk to myself at the Dang Park). Seriously, there are times when seeing all the “whole” families tugs at my heartstrings.  I love to see the girls being pushed on the swings by their fathers, and the idea of having someone ELSE pull my heavy toddler off the screaming, terrified, Asian baby…brings tears to my eyes.  And, sometimes, it wouldn’t hurt to have someone there enjoying my children as much as I do.  Someone I could share my experiences with.  There’s my mom but she thinks I’m a crazy attachment parent, which I am, so there’s NOT my mom.  I’m the eldest child and my sister closest to me in age lives 12 hours away by car.  I don’t know many moms in my area who parent the way I do, and The Coach Bag Catties (what I call the playground cliques), well, IF they are still considering giving me a chance after they see me in my bare feet in the dirt with my toddler, they change their minds once she screams, “MOM I SO HOT I SO TIRED AND I NEED TO NURSE OKAAAAAAAAY?!”  So.  There’s kinda just me.  And usually just when I get to that thought, my eldest, who is eight, runs over and says something like, “Mom, wanna have a swing race?”  And I walk right past those Coach Bag Catties, barefoot, puffy-eyed (I have really bad allergies), and probably smelling like a little boy (a little wolf-boy) after soccer practice.  My daughter yells for me to get ready and then starts early, trying to beat me.  She won’t and we both know it.  And I forget about the DPD until the next time.

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Categories: Playtime, Single Motherhood


I'm Kimberley, work-at-home single momma to two girls, Ryleigh, 9, and Logan, 3. The Single Crunch is the story of our journey from a lifestyle saturated in mainstream ideals to an organic existence, and learning to love each other, ourselves, and any living thing, unconditionally. I'm passionate about breastfeeding, unschooling, single parenting, writing, grief, childhood abuse, childism, and natural living. I write about all this and whatever else moves me, which is a lot, and I throw in some funny on the regular. I'm humbled and grateful to have you reading, thank you. I hope something here will help you in any way.

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11 Comments on “The Dang Park Daddies”

  1. March 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    Thought I’d come back and post a comment since I got a moment and I love this post so much. First of all, I appreciate you sharing. When I went to the park yesterday I counted my blessings. Second, I’m sorry for the looks you get–how come we’re more ok with folks who argue constantly in front of their children and everyone else but you doing your thing should be looked down upon? Finally, I can completely envision your toddler shouting that….okaaaaay??? sheila ;)

    • March 27, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

      This makes me so happy. :) Thank you for reading, I am happy to share. The looks I don’t mind so much anymore. Symptom of small town life, and it’s totally worth putting up with. And Logan is such a character, she shouted that out of nowhere an while we were on our way to nurse she says quietly, “Oh, I sowwy, Mommy.” Hahaha. Toddlers. :) Thank you again.

  2. illithid
    March 28, 2012 at 3:56 am #

    I think there are pros and cons to having 2 people/parents. Congratulations for having the courage to be who you are and not be living life on someone else terms. I suspect lots of people are married because that is what is expected of them and to do what is expected seems like quite a high price for some people. They put up with a lot. All we can do is our best! And I suspect your best is better than a lot of houses with 2 parents. Remember 2 people means double the communication, justification, compromise and working through lots of stuff even and maybe especially where kids are concerned. Love the blog. Don’t mind the Cattie Cliches it sounds like your kids are happiest around. I am sure at some point the muddy feet and happy kids will win someone in the cliche over and then you will have an in to educate them.

    • March 28, 2012 at 8:16 am #

      Wow, thank you. A few Catties have started conversations with me and I get some things in. =) You’re right, all we can do is our best. I just try to recognize when my best is better than what I’m doing at present. Thank you for reading and posting.

  3. March 30, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    I love your “Coach Bag Catties” title, and I’m going to be thinking it now when I see them. They don’t really like me either. I have the gall to work fulltime and send my kids to (gasp) daycare and still be too flat broke to have anything they’d consider cool.

    • March 30, 2012 at 9:46 am #

      Yeah, some of them do talk to me sometimes, but I think they’re just trying to find out what’s “wrong” with me. :)

  4. March 30, 2012 at 9:35 am #

    And I think its GREAT that you nurse your toddler. You need a t shrit that says “Don’t be a weaner!” I think its funny. Myself, I cant bear to pump that long and due to the aforementioned working full time, I don’t think I’ll make it past one.

    • March 30, 2012 at 9:45 am #

      Ugh, I’m embarrassed at how much I hated pumping. I have pumping ADD, and as soon as that thing came on I started feeling chained lol. I actually almost threw it across the room once. Making it to one is pretty darn stellar. Some never even try.

  5. September 5, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    “Surprisedanese” is one of the best made-up words ever. Also, I love this post. I’m glad I found you before you’d been blogging a long time, since I like to start at the beginning and with you I’ll actually catch up before too long! BTW, as nice as it is to go to the park as a family, I can tell I’m more fun for my kiddo if I’m not yakking away to my man or my mama friends, anyway.

    • September 5, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

      Hahaha, you know, I’d forgotten all about this post. Can’t believe this was almost six months ago! Kinda scared that you’re starting from day one, not sure what’s back there… Thank you.

  6. Talithas
    January 13, 2015 at 10:57 am #

    Hi, I just found your blog thru the comments in the book peaceful parent, happy kid. I can’t wait to catch up on your blog! I am also a single attachment parenting mom of two great kids. Fourteen and four.

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